You have to want it...

With the smell of a spent eraser still the air, and the last remains of a third cup of coffee cooling on the windowsill, it is done. The last assignment from a course with no direction, no substance, no cohesiveness - is finished.
As a PhD student I've taken my share of classes; some good, some less than good, and one or two life-alteringly bad in a "what have I gotten myself into" kind of way.

This was my impersonation of my professor: "Here's some homework on things I didn't teach you - your grade will be a reflection of how well I think you are able to find, and teach yourselves, the arbitrary material I choose to cover."- Conway (I do some pretty good impressions)


I told my friend and future team manager: "After working on this hw I'm ready to really buckle down and pedal."

Manager:  You should write him: "Thanks professor Conway... before this class I had no idea how much I wanted to be a professional cyclist."

Man was she right.

It's been said that it takes 10,000 hours of honing your skills to become elite, an expert in your field. And after spending the better part of the last decade in a windowless dungeon grad-student office learning the finer points of burning things and shooting them with laser beams, I can't help but wonder if I've squandered my time. What would my life be like if I had spent my summers riding my bike out in the sunshine? Taking week long trips along sinewy singletrack or climbing mountain passes?

Desire is a finicky thing. Whether you're scaling the alps or pushing the boundaries of human understanding, in the end, you have to want it.